For the most part, I thought your rough draft was well written. I learned more about you as a person and what you’re passionate about, and I thought that was really cool.  In the second and third paragraphs, when you transitioned from talking about how you got interested in photography to how different processes of photography worked flowed well. To be honest, I didn’t really think photography was hard, until you described how darkroom photography worked and how strenuous it was, it made me stressed out just thinking about. It must’ve been really hard, but practice makes perfect. For some reason, I could envision going through each process of photography because that’s how detailed it was. I can tell that you’re really passionate about photography, however, you could elaborate more on your interest in music, because I feel like that didn’t get enough recognition in the rough draft. Maybe you should talk about if you’re ever tried writing any songs, tried auditioning for American Idol,  if there were any songs that got stuck in your head because you loved them that much, anything of that sort.